News: ‘The Linguists’ race to save vanishing languages on Babelgum

Found on Monster and Critics.com on 2 April 2009
By April MacIntyre

Technology and overpopulation have helped shrink the world’s languages at an alarming rate, and there are a handful of people who are diligently trying to record and save some of the more remote, arcane spoken languages left in the world.

Babelgum.com will air a film that follows two acclaimed scientists on a race against time to document the world’s vanishing languages.

Independent Web TV service Babelgum announced today that it has acquired the exclusive worldwide Internet and mobile rights to the feature documentary The Linguists.

Screened in the Documentary Spotlight Program at the Sundance Film Festival, the film will premiere on Babelgum on April 20th, 2009.

The Linguists, directed by Seth Kramer, Daniel A. Miller, and Jeremy Newberger, is a  poignant chronicle of two scientist-adventurers racing to document languages on the verge of extinction.

The Linguists was a breakout hit at the 2008 Sundance Film Festival and has screened at more than 40 film festivals worldwide and recently aired on PBS.

Speaking from Ironbound Films’ headquarters in Garrison, NY, CEO Jeremy Newberger says: “It is very fitting that The Linguists, a documentary celebrating language diversity, has its online premiere on Babelgum, a company named for the digital ‘gum’ with which it connects diverse communities globally. We hope to inspire as many viewers as possible with the message of The Linguists, and Babelgum, with its global brand recognition and unrivaled accessibility both online and via mobile devices, is the ideal platform. We anticipate an overwhelming response.”

Karol Martesko-Fenster, stated: “We are thrilled about our partnership with Ironbound Films. The filmmakers have crafted a compelling story that weaves travelogue together with the urgent sustainability issue of the world’s disappearing languages. The resulting documentary appeals to film fans and the growing group of linguists worldwide. Babelgum’s exclusive premiere of The Linguists reaffirms our mission to be the leading online and mobile destination for multi-lingual diverse forms of creative expression and cutting-edge independent film.”

Babelgum’s editorial focus is on music, comedy, film, urban culture, nature and the environment.

Russian-speaking Chinese wandering the streets of New York City

Found on Language Log on 1 April 2009
By Victor Mair

The following sign is posted in a New York City shop window:

The words are Russian and mean “We speak Chinese.” One wonders to whom the sign is directed. Chinese in New York City who do not know English would be even less likely to know Russian. An awareness of the futility of posting the sign in Russian is evident from the 10 yuan bill that has been affixed at the top. People from mainland China would at least get a hint from the 10 yuan bill that the shop is eager to deal with Chinese, though we cannot assume that they would necessarily be able to accept RMB for items purchased.

All in all, the signage in and around the shop is a bit mystifying (click on the image below for a larger version, or right-click “Open Link in New Window” for an even larger one):

Without making a detailed study of the words lurking about in the shadows and reflections, I see references to kosher, pharmacy, “White Chocolate Bliss” made from NAVAN Natural Vanilla Liqueur and Godiva White Chocolate Liqueur, and so forth. These are all things that I’m sure Russian-speaking Chinese wandering the streets of New York City are eager to spend their RMB on.

Seriously, though, the person who wrote the sign in Russian (or someone else in the shop) undoubtedly can speak Chinese (Mandarin), but almost certainly cannot write it.

[Hat tip to Victor Steinbok]

Bubblespeak: The Orwellian language of Wall Street finds its way to the Treasury Department

Found on Slate.com on 1 April 2009
By

The Orwellian language of Wall Street finds its way to the Treasury Department.

The Orwellian language of Wall Street finds its way to the Treasury Department.

In his timeless 1946 essay “Politics and the English Language,” George Orwell condemned political rhetoric as a tool used “to make lies sound truthful” and “to give an appear­ance of solidity to pure wind.” Were he alive today, Orwell might well be moved to pen a com­panion piece on the use of financial lingo. Remember those toxic assets? The poorly performing mortgages and collateralized debt obligations festering on the books of banks that made truly exe­crable lending decisions? In the latest federal bank rescue plan, they’ve been transformed into “legacy loans” and “lega­cy securities”—safe for professional in­vestors to purchase, provided, of course, they get lots of cheap government credit.

It’s as if some thoughtful person had amassed, through decades of careful hus­bandry, a valuable collection that’s now being left as a blessing for posterity. Using the word legacy to describe phenomena that are causing financial car­nage is “crazy,” according to George Lakoff, a Berkeley professor of cognitive science and linguistics, because “legacy typically suggests something positive.” More insidiously, the word is frequently deployed to deflect blame. Legacy finan­cial issues are, by definition, holdovers from prior regimes. Word sleuths advise me that legacy derives from an ancient In­do-Aryan root meaning, “It wasn’t my fault, and I should still get a bonus this year even though we lost billions of dollars.”

The (not so) Big Three auto companies routinely refer to the now-unaffordable pension and health care commitments en­tered into by prior management as “legacy costs.” (And why not? They’ve convinced us to regard used cars as “pre-owned.”) Citi CEO Vikram Pandit last month told employees that “we are profitable through the first two months of 2009 and are hav­ing our best quarter-to-date performance since the third quarter of 2007.” Huh? Citi, currently connected to a taxpayer-funded multibillion-dollar feeding tube, is “prof­itable” only if you ignore the losses it con­tinues to incur on lending decisions made in the previous years—legacy loans made by legacy bankers.

In this new paradigm, a legacy, usually a gift, is a burden. A potential loss is spun as a potential gain. War is peace. See what I mean by Orwellian?

The legacy gambit is necessary, in part, because the prior nomenclature used to describe the stuff in question was so cor­rosive. “Toxic is one of those words that is so negative that it’s just hyperbole,” said Jesse Sheidlower, editor-at-large of the Oxford English Dictionary. The phrase toxic assets, used widely in 2008, was ei­ther a sign of admirable reality or an at­tempt to scare people into action. A mid­dle ground of sorts was reached last fall when then-Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson rolled out the Troubled Asset Relief Program. Of course, calling some of those mortgage assets “troubled” was a little like calling Charles Manson a troubled person.

In trying to rebrand dodgy financial in­struments, treasury secretaries like Paul­son and Timothy Geithner are continuing a recent tradition. So much of the finance sector’s innovation in the past 30 years, it turns out, wasn’t developing new stuff, but rather developing new ways of talking about pre-existing stuff. In the 1980s, la­beling risky debt offerings as junk bonds was an intentionally ironic feint (pros knew that the instruments pos­sessed real value). But as junk bonds went mainstream in the 1990s, they evolved into “high-yield debt”—their liability be­came an asset. Frank Partnoy, a reformed derivatives trader who teaches law at the University of San Diego, recalls that at Morgan Stanley in the 1990s, “we were constantly coming up with new acronyms” to describe similar financial in­struments. The goal: to present products, some of which had been discredited, in a more favorable light.

At the height of the housing frenzy, I visited a large subprime lender in Irvine, Calif. These folks would have made a $425,000, no-money-down, negative-amortization loan to a 12-year-old presenting nothing more than Pokémon cards as collateral. Were they engaged in subprime lending? Absolutely not. This outfit, they informed me proudly, made “nonprime” loans.

The late Sen. Daniel Patrick Moyni­han lamented declining societal standards in an essay titled “Defining Deviancy Down.” The language employed in the late credit bubble—let’s rebrand it the Dumb Money Era—helped define solvency down. And words, even if they’re thrown mostly by sophisticated professionals at other sophisticated professionals, can be just as damaging as sticks and stones.

The people on Wall Street believed so fervently in their own rhetoric that they bet their financial houses on it. They chugged the Kool-Aid through funnels. “If you call a mortgage-backed security AAA for long enough, you forget that its value could get cut in half,” says Frank Partnoy.

The problem isn’t that words intended to change the conversation aren’t accu­rate. Rather, the accepted terms turned out not to mean what people think they mean. Instead of helping to reduce risk, securitization—chopping up debt and distributing it—spread risk. Nonprime mortgages frequently turned out to be subprime. A lot of high-yield debt turned out to be junk. This confusion over the meaning of financial terms, and the skep­ticism it engenders, may be the real legacy of the Dumb Money Era.

A version of this article appears in this week’s Newsweek.

New short vowel discovered

Found on Language Log on 1 April 2009
By Roger Shuy

Geoff Pullum gave us a really neat lesson on Finnish short vowels a few months ago, pointing out things that nobody but native speakers have ever known — that Finns produce a subtle duration of short /Ih/ vowels that the rest of us don’t even hear. But hey, The Finnish vowel duration distinction doesn’t come close to what’s going on in a remote part of Tanzania.

A really, really short /Ih/ has been discovered by phonetic scientists who study vowel duration. Phoneticians in East Africa recently have stumbled upon the shortest vowel ever known to humankind. They discovered that the duration of the /Ih/ vowel, already known for its very short length in languages like English (to say nothing about it’s tremendous importance in Finnish), is produced in .11 hundredths of a second by a small band of speakers of Kwatnaksa, who live on an otherwise unoccupied island in the Indian Ocean. Well, at least linguists thought the name of that language was Kwatnaksa, but never before had they noticed the very short /Ih/ squeezed between the /t/ and the /n/, and also obtruding effortlessly but noiselessly into other hitherto believed consonant clusters. They were shocked, therefore, when a 98 year-old native, speech slowed by age, clearly produced the vowel /Ih/, with an extremely short duration in all such contexts.

When extensively interviewed, the old man answered with an abundance of very brief /Ih/ sounds in the middle of what the research team had hitherto believed to be consonant clusters. Intensive research quickly followed, revealing that the name of that language is actually Kiwatinakisa, sending National Geographic cartographers into a frenzy. “Once we started listening for that very short /Ih/, we began to hear it everywhere,” said Dr. Brno Von Hurringville III, one of the lead researchers on the team. “In fact, there appear to be no consonant clusters at all in this God-forsaken language.”

Puzzled about what to do about their discovery, the research team promptly requested help from the Tanzanian Overseeing Council on Vowels and Consonants (TOCOVAC), at its headquarters in Arusha. Sadly, the researchers report, they have not yet received a response.

In an apparently misguided effort to preserve the until-now perceived original spelling of Kwatnaksa, a UN disaster relief agency has offered immediate aid, promising to send in a supply of speech therapists and to provide dozens of much needed consonant clusters to this bleak Tanzanian island. It remains unclear to most observers whether TOCOVAC will accept this kind humanitarian offer, but some feel that there are strong indications that it is not likely to be received kindly. One clue is that the UN’s offer was addressed to:
TCVC
Lngg Rsrch Tm
Rsh, Tnzn.

Exclusive Interview: Jill Scott Talks ‘The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency’

Found on BlackVoices.com on 25 March 2009

Jill Scott talks about the new series, getting the role and … learning Southern African languages!

jill-scott-wireimage

Jill Scott

Who knew that when she won appraised for her performance in Tyler Perry’s ‘Why Did I Get Married?’ that she would follow that up by working with an Oscar winning director? On Sunday, March 29, Jill Scott will be playing the role of Precious Ramotswe in ‘The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency,’ when the series premieres on HBO. The pilot episode was directed by the late Anthony Minghella (‘The English Patient’). Based on a series of novels by Alexander McCall Smith, Scott plays a Botswanan woman who starts up the country’s first female-owned detective agency. Within the series, she is paired with a cast of talented actors, including Tony Award winner Anika Noni Rose, Idris Elba, Colin Salmon, David Oyelowo, and Lucien Msamati. Taking the role was not as easy it seems. On route to Africa to shoot the series, the Grammy award singer learned she was pregnant. This came as a shock to her considering she had been told previously by her doctors that bearing children wasn’t in the cards. With her first child, with partner and drummer Lil’ John Roberts , due next month and with a blazing singing and film career, life is full of roses for the Philadelphia native.

In speaking with Black Voices, Ms. Scott talks about getting the role, working with the director Anthony Minghella, who died before the film had its BBC premiere last year, and working with Tyler Perry on the sequel to ‘Why Did I Get Married?’

The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency

The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency

How did the project come about for you?

Jill Scott: Well, I had heard through the grapevine. My agent called me and told me that Anthony Minghella was auditioning for a role; and I am a huge, huge fan of his work. I had seen ‘The Talented Mr. Ripley’ and thought that was amazing. The acting was fantastic and I knew the director had to be the bomb based on what he pulled out of those actors. I was told about the audition and I went and auditioned once by video. I went back to audition in New York by video. Then I got a call a couple of days later saying that Anthony Minghella flying in from London to Philadelphia to meet me, which was a huge deal. He came and we auditioned for about five hours. Every time I saw him after that, I think I auditioned two more times and it was five hours each time. He had been looking for his Precious Ramotswe for two years at this time.

Did you do anything special to help nail the part?

Jill Scott: No. I wish I could have thought of something to do, but I just did whatever he had asked me to do; like play the character with a cold or play the character with one leg. I’m a director’s actor in my opinion and when a director does their part, it thrills me to have that kind of guidance. I love it.

On your way to Botswana you get the news of your pregnancy. How did that work out?

Jill Scott: Well, it stopped things for a moment absolutely. I was told I was pregnant on Friday, and I was supposed to be leaving that day at noon. I found out at 10 a.m. It sort of throws you for a huge loop, especially since I was told could never be pregnant. This was a shock; a complete and utter shock to me. I just had to hold things for a day. I called my doctors and of course, I called my family to let everyone know and to find out if it was okay to travel for that long distance during my first trimester of pregnancy. I wanted to know that I was all right because I hadn’t had any shots. What were the possibilities? I wanted to know them all. Once I got the go-ahead from my doctors, I left the following day.

How was filming in Botswana?

Jill Scott: It was a challenge this time. The first time we shot there was in the summer of 2007. Our summer is their winter. When we got off the plane, we were surprised to find out how cold it was. You needed hats, scarves, gloves and all of that. It was cold. Nobody told me that Africa could be cold. I had no clue. This time around we went in our fall which is their summer and it was the exact opposite. It was 110, 112, 115 degrees for no reason; just because it’s Wednesday or Thursday. That was a challenge. Being pregnant and the heat were very difficult for me; but I had great doctors around me. The crew really paid attention. They didn’t seem to mind it so much. There was a deadline and I’m the lead. As far as I know, I’m the first African American woman to be the lead of an HBO series, so there was a lot of pressure to get the job done, even between morning sickness.

Had you read the books after you did the pilot episode?

Jill Scott: No, I read the books before I left for Botswana. Once I went out for the role, by the third audition is when I had all the books. I was busy touring and I had finished shooting ‘Why Did I Get Married?’ I didn’t know anything about the books. They just sent me the sides and told me to focus on them. I found out it was a series of books and decided to be fully aware of what’s going on here. Once I read the books, I thought this character is so sweet and so powerful and so endearing, and I wanted to be a part of that.

Did you get a chance to talk with the author Alexander McCall Smith about the character he created?

Jill Scott: Quite frankly, he stayed out of the way. Being a writer myself, something you have that urge to direct, but he had full faith in Anthony and in the production itself. When he met me, I remember him saying, ‘Oh my God, Precious, it’s really you. You’re exactly what I thought you would be.’ That was a wonderful feeling. It also made Anthony very happy as well.

Is there anything that you and Precious have in common?

Jill Scott: She’s more like my mother. Growing up in Philadelphia, my mother is very active in the community. If there was any kind of drama or trouble, my mother was in the thick of it, trying to make sure everybody was okay. If there was someone who was ill, my mother would try to take care of them. In the community, if someone was hungry, she would feed them. She’s very much like my mom.

Was it a challenge learning the South African language?

Jill Scott: Absolutely. People talk about speaking Japanese and how tough it is to learn and it’s also difficult to sing in that language, but Botswana is really hard. It’s not spelled the way that it sounds. Just to learn the alphabet is a challenge. The language is very difficult and it’s very precise. In English or Spanish, if you pronounce a word incorrectly, you can get away with it, but in Botswana, there is no leeway. You have to get it right.

How was working with Anika Noni Rose?

Jill Scott: That was cool. She really embodied that character. When we got there, Anika and myself, and Lucien (Msamati), who Mr. JLB Matekoni, proprietor of Tlokweng Road Speedy Motors, we all had these ideas of what our characters were supposed to be like. Anthony (Minghella) completely flipped the script on us. I think it was because once we got to Botswana, you really get an opportunity to see the people and feel the energy and to get to know the country. Before that, we did everything by phone. We had studied with dialect coaches an hour a day for two months by phone. You don’t hear it all the time and so that changes things. You don’t see the clothing and how people behave until you get there. Once there, we had to revamp our characters and the dialect as well. We learned the wrong dialect. They were teaching us a Zimbabwe accent.

Since you’re the only who has a scene with all the men so far in the pilot and in the series, how was working with Idris (Elba), Colin (Salmon) and David Oyelowo and the rest of the guys?

Jill Scott: Fantastic. I enjoyed working with Idris so much on many levels. This is a person who is music lover and we got along in that aspect. He’s just a cool cat to be around. He likes to work fast and I’m not mad at that. That was cool. Colin is a great guy. Fantastic actor. He plays his part well. Overall, I enjoyed working with everyone, honestly. Lucien (Msamati) is a dear sweet man. He’s a wonderful Shakespearian actor and very popular in theater in London. That made me feel good working with him. There’s so much more to come. Patterson plays a terrible man in the series. He’s my arch nemesis. The casting was really well done. Also, working with John Kani was amazing. Sitting down with him and talking with him is an eye opener.

What did you learn from Anthony (Minghella) as a director?

Jill Scott: A lot. I’m glad I started with Tyler Perry. I’m glad I started with Anthony doing a bigger film. What I got from Tyler is a work ethic. What I got from Anthony is sort of a spirit ethic. When you come on the set, you acknowledge everyone. Not that I wouldn’t, but to see this Oscar award winning director and he is so respected and so nice. He’s immensely kind to others, it just lets you know for certain, that you can kind and that you don’t have to be rough around the edges and that you don’t have to yell and bark and all that other stuff. I have seen this behavior with directors in theater and in television as well. Being around him, I loved that he came prepared everyday. He knew exactly what he wanted to get from us. He made no bones about what he wanted to see and he didn’t leave until he got what he wanted. At that point, all I wanted to do, as an actress, is give him what he wanted, immediately. He would later say to me, ‘You are a proper actress.’ That’s one of the best compliments I received as an actress.

Tyler recently said that he’s looking to do a follow-up to ‘Why Did I Get Married?’ and if so, would you come back and where do you see your character in the sequel?

Jill Scott: I would love to come to the role. I’m eight months pregnant right now so I would love for my character to either be pregnant or want to have a child. There are a lot of difficulties with people trying to conceive. I would like to see that topic addressed. I would love for my character to have baggage from her last marriage; even though she has a good man. I have this philosophy that if you have had someone bad in your life, the hardest thing in life is to be with a good one. Those topics would be interesting to me.

Do you have a name picked out for your baby?

Jill Scott: I do, but I’m going to wait til I see his face.

So on Sunday March 29, why should anyone watch ‘The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency?’

Jill Scott: Because I’m in it. It’s a sweet film and it would nice to watch something with your children and your grandma. We don’t have television like that anymore. Everything is either really sexual or really violent; and the language is vulgar on some cable channels. It leaves very little for a family to watch together. There is also a stereotype of what Africa is and how African people and I think the series will broaden their horizons and minds about this fantastic continent and one particular country. This will blow the minds of those who think of Africa from the poverty they see on TV and the dialect they hear. It’s so far from the truth, it’s not even funny. Not funny at all.

Update: Found on Tampabay.com on 28 March 2009

‘No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency’ author Alexander McCall Smith says HBO series captures magic of Botswana

By Colette Bancroft, Times Book Editor
In Print: Sunday, March 29, 2009

Author Alexander McCall Smith praised Scott’s success in picking up the African language of Setswana.

“Most authors seem to moan about their books being made into films, but I’ve been very lucky,” says Alexander McCall Smith.

Legions of fans will get to make their own judgment when The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency, the series based on McCall Smith’s internationally popular series of books about Botswanan sleuth Precious Ramotswe, premieres tonight on HBO.

“They’ve done a gorgeous job,” McCall Smith says. “They were very respectful of the ethos of the books. And with Botswana itself, they’ve done a lovely job. They’ve done us proud.”

The series’ two-hour first episode is the first feature-length film made entirely in Botswana, a place dear to McCall Smith, 60. His family is Scottish, but he was born in what is now Zimbabwe, the nation just to the north of Botswana in southern Africa. He has spent much time in Botswana over the years (he helped establish its first law school in the 1980s), and the No. 1 Ladies’ books have made the country and its people familiar and endearing to countless readers who otherwise might know nothing about them.

Fans know that one of the great charms of the books is their voice. “In Botswana they speak English very well,” McCall Smith says. “It’s common for them to switch between English and Setswana (the native language), and I’ve tried in the books to capture the cadences of African English. It’s very correct. There’s a slight air of formality, compared to how English is spoken in other countries, that I think is very attractive.”

McCall Smith says the series captures that well. He is particularly impressed with the performances of Jill Scott as Mma Ramotswe and Anika Noni Rose as her somewhat peculiar secretary, Mma Makutsi.

(That “Mma”? It’s a Setswana honorific for women, the equivalent of “Madam,” pronounced “mah,” with a slight hesitation on the “m.” Men are addressed as “Rra,” pronounced “rar.”)

Scott, a Grammy-winning singer-songwriter, and Rose, who won a best featured actress Tony for Caroline, or Change, are African-American, and neither had been to Africa before.

“They did actually very well with the body language and with the accent. It’s very difficult to do credibly.” McCall Smith says Scott even impressed his Botswanan friends in a few scenes in which she speaks Setswana. “The dialect coach told me she has a very, very good ear, which you would expect from a musician.”

Playing Mma Ramotswe is a demanding task. Not only is she a smart, strong, independent, big-hearted woman, she has devoted fans all over the world — the books have sold 15 million copies in English and been translated into dozens of other languages. “I’ve just been to Australia” on book tour, McCall Smith says, “and the books have a big following in India. I’ve just spent a week at the big book fair there.”

Although they are mysteries, the novels don’t dwell on violence, instead focusing on human foibles and flaws that Mma Ramotswe sets straight with gentle wisdom and wry humor. Even their titles are charming, such as Morality for Beautiful Girls, Blue Shoes and Happiness and, coming in April, the 10th in the series: Tea Time for the Traditionally Built (that last phrase being Mma Ramotswe’s dignified way of describing her frame).

For many Americans, the only common images of sub-Saharan Africa are those in the news: war, disaster, famine and strife. The Botswana in McCall Smith’s books, and in the series, is warmly beautiful and boasts a rich traditional culture. “It’s not something I had set out to do, to write a contrary vision of Africa,” he says. “But in retrospect, yes, it’s what I’m in effect doing.”

Media coverage of problems there is necessary, he says, but can produce a one-sided picture. “Just like everyplace else, there are many people leading very good lives and doing a very good job of it. I think the film captures that generosity of spirit and dignity.”

He says he loves to hear from fans who have been inspired by his books to travel to Botswana and come back as fond of the place and people as he is. Tourism is vitally important to Botswana with the collapse of the diamond market, a major industry there. “They are suffering greatly, so when I hear from people who visit, it just makes me feel warm inside.”

The No.1 Ladies’ books are hardly McCall Smith’s only project. Asked how many books he has written, he says, “I think it’s about 60. I haven’t counted recently. I know that sounds like an affectation, but it’s true.”

He has indeed written more than 60, including three other fiction series in addition to No. 1 Ladies’, a shelf’s worth of children’s books and a dozen legal texts. McCall Smith retired as emeritus professor of medical law at the University of Edinburgh and has worked with many organizations as an expert on bioethics and medical law.

He and his wife have two daughters and live in Edinburgh in the same neighborhood as another bestselling mystery author, Ian Rankin, and Harry Potter creator J.K. Rowling.

McCall Smith writes several books a year, and last year wrote an online serialized novel, Corduroy Mansions, published on the London Daily Telegraph‘s Web site five days a week, a chapter a day — with instant feedback from readers.

“It was great fun,” he says. “It meant I could respond to readers’ suggestions, and I did. They had lots of suggestions about characters they wanted to see more of and so forth. Quite interesting. I’ll probably be doing another.”

When he’s not writing, McCall Smith and his wife are enthusiastic participants in something called the Really Terrible Orchestra, which they founded about 10 years ago. “It’s for people who really can’t play an instrument at all well.” The orchestra has about 55 members, and there are three offshoots in U.S. cities.

“We have a concert in New York, at Town Hall no less, coming up April 1,” he says. “We make the most dreadful sound, but people love it.

“I’ll be playing the euphonium. Very badly.”

Once he has wrapped up touring for the HBO series, he’ll take a few days off and then hit the road for Tea Time for the Traditionally Built. Its title refers to one of Mma Ramotswe’s favorite rituals, her endless cups of redbush tea.

When McCall Smith began writing the books, bush tea was little known outside of Africa. Now you can buy redbush tea, also called rooibos, at many U.S. grocery stores. Is it the power of Precious?

“Bush tea was very much a minority taste,” McCall Smith says. “But Mma Ramotswe has succeeded in persuading people to drink it.”

Colette Bancroft can be reached at cbancroft@sptimes.com or (727) 893-8435.

9 Words That Don’t Mean What You Think

Found on Cracked.com on 19 March 2009

By CRACKED Staff, Tim Cameron

The English language is under assault by stupid people who use words they don’t understand, and is defended by pompous asses who like to correct those people. We’re not sure who to side with.

So, here are some words that you’ll see used incorrectly on a daily basis, and a helpful guide as to just how big of a dick you’d have to be to correct people on it. We have also included many pictures of these words being read by women with large boobs.

Irregardless

People think it means:
Regardless.

Actually means:
Not a damned thing.

This is not a word. Now, we have no problem with making up words (if a particular scent can only be described as “fartalicious,” we reserve the right to call it so). The problem with this one is “regardless” already means something isn’t worth regard (that’s why the “less” is there) so adding the “ir” to it means… it’s worth regarding again? Who knows.

Should you care?
If there’s ever a time to speak up, this is probably it. Mainly because this is one of those words used almost exclusively by people trying to sound smarter than they are. Remind them that when using fake words to at least try to use ones that have some kind of meaning, if they want to avoid unnecessary cockulance when speaking.

Dick Rating:
As in, “How big of a dick are you if you insist people use it the right way?”

Peruse

People think it means:
To skim over or browse something.

Actually means:
Almost the opposite of that.

Peruse means “to read with thoroughness or care.” If you peruse a book, you leave no page unturned. This makes sense when you consider the Middle English per use, meaning “to wear out or use up.” Unfortunately, if you “consider the Middle English” very often when speaking, you’re probably not exactly the life of the party.

Should you care?
You could make the argument that the way people use it is so far off from the original meaning that it’s worth fighting for, but there is almost no way to do it tactfully:

“What are you doing, Chris?”
“Oh, just perusing the report here before the meeting.”
“Well you better GET OUT THE MICROSCOPE, RETARD! HA HA HA HA HA!!!”

So, perhaps the best thing is to just lead by example and start using the word correctly yourself. But, this can create its own problems:

“Hey Sharon, What’s Chris doing?”
“Oh, he said he was perusing that new report.”
“Then why is he hunched over it with his tongue out, re-reading the opening page for the ninth time?”
“Gosh, I don’t know. I guess he must be clinically retarded.”

Dick Rating:

Ironic

People think it means:
Any kind of amusing coincidence.

Actually means:
An outcome that is the opposite of what you’d expect.

So, if a porn star moved to Virgin, Utah, that would be ironic. If the same porn star bought a house in Boner Knob, Montana that would not be ironic.

Should you care?
We realize this is a technical point. But, it’s almost worth taking a stand because the word has been abused to the point that it can mean anything.

“She always said she wanted to marry a dentist! And then she married Bob, who is a dentist! Isn’t that ironic?”

“I went on my cigarette break, but there was a No Smoking sign! Isn’t that ironic?”

“I just pooped in your aquarium! Isn’t that ironic?”

We have to draw the line somewhere, don’t we?

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Pristine

People think it means:
“Spotless” or “as good as new.”

Actually means:
“Ancient, primeval; in a state virtually unchanged from the original.”

It’s therefore perfectly possible to have a pristine mountain of fossilized brontosaurus shit, but if you were to buff that mountain to a lustrous shine, it would no longer be pristine.

Should you care?
The meanings are close enough that correcting somebody sounds like grammar Nazi hair-splitting. That’s a shame, because there were lots of words that mean “clean” but none that have the exact same meaning as “pristine.”

If you use pristine correctly yourself, you probably won’t land yourself in too much trouble, unless someone buys your “pristine” house on eBay without realizing that it’s an authentic 14th century dung hovel complete with never-been-used plague rats.

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Nonplussed

People think it means:
Unperturbed, not worried.

Actually means:
Utterly perplexed or confused. It comes from the Latin non plus (a state in which nothing more can be done).

The misunderstanding would seem to stem from people making semi-educated guesses as to the word’s meaning, which kind of sounds like it means “unruffled” or something like that.

Should you care?
If your roommate says:

“The doctor called about your herpes test. He sounded nonplussed.”

Then, yeah, it’s pretty important that you know what he meant. Either the doc wasn’t worried, or the doc was perplexed by the sight of some strand of alien herpes he had never witnessed prior, depending on whether or not your roommate knows how to use the word.

Though, if any of your friends actually start using words like “nonplussed” in conversation, regardless of the meaning, they may deserve a good cock punching anyway.

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Bemused

People think it means:
Mildly amused.

Actually means:
Bewildered or confused.

If you were to say “I was bemused by your dead baby joke,” you wouldn’t be saying the joke was funny. You’d be saying that you completely failed to understand it. You were following the story up to and including the bit about the trowel, but you’d lost the thread way before the Ku Klux masturbation climax.

Should you care?
It’s hard to blame people for getting this one wrong, the word just sounds like it means, “sort of amused.” We blame the people who originally invented the word. You should probably let the new meaning take over unless, you know, you’re a dick.

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Enormity

People think it means:
Enormous.

Actually means:
Outrageous or heinous on a grand scale.

War crimes are enormities. Extra-big bouncy castles are not.

Should you care?
This is one of those words you really don’t need to be using anyway, unless you’re giving a speech at the U.N. Just remember that if you say to your girl, “I hope you’re prepared for the enormity of my dick,” you’re implying that your penis is responsible for several acts of evil on the scale of ethnic genocide. This may or may not turn her on, depending on the girl.

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Plethora

People think it means:
A lot of something.

Actually means:
Too much of something, an over-abundance.

It’s the difference between:

“Dude, I am jonesing to go snort a plethora of medicinal-grade barbiturates right now.”

And …

“Dude, I just snorted a plethora of medicinal-grade barbiturates, and now there are hundreds of terrifying arachnids crawling out of my penis. They all have human lips.”

Should you care?
As with “enormity,” you’re courting a certain amount of dickery by using “plethora” at all; most of the time, you can get the same point across by saying “a big ol’ shitload.” However, the original meaning of over-abundance is worth hanging onto, because it seems as if there’s no direct replacement other than “too many big ol’shitloads,” which doesn’t have quite the same degree of pith.

Interestingly, “plethora” once meant “an over-abundance of bodily fluids” so if you heard your doctor say this back in the 1700s, it meant they were about to stick a bunch of leeches on you.

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Deceptively

People think it means:
Nobody is sure.

Actually means:
Nobody is sure.

Specifically, we’re talking about when the word is used with some other adjective. Like if somebody says, “The turd pool is deceptively shallow,” does that mean it’s deeper than it appears, or not as deep?

If you’re not sure, don’t feel bad. The American Heritage Dictionary asked their word experts and they said they had no fucking idea, either. So … nobody knows.

Should you care?
So, if you say (to a lady, perhaps), “I possess a deceptively large set of balls,” you could mean that your modest bulge belies the real heft of your testicles, which are actually so pendulous that you’re forced to strap them to your legs. However, you could also mean that you have tiny love eggs, and that your ball-shaped jean protrusions are actually caused by the hideous malformation of your wang. This is obviously something you want to avoid.

If ever there was a case to be made for clarity of language, this is it. If you use it at all, make sure the context makes the meaning totally clear. “My balls are deceptively large,” you could say, “because I have just inflated my genitalia with a bicycle pump.”

What this also means is that technically the usage is never wrong … or right. If you’re the type who just likes to correct people to be a dick, well, this one is a gold mine.

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